The Diet Craze.....Solved

My wife was talking to Katy Profeta of Sonofa Bocce about the lastest super easy diet book that allows you to eat as much as you want, not exercise, and still lose 20 pounds in four weeks. Oddly enough, over the holidays I ate as much as I wanted, did not exercise and managed to put on 20 pounds in four weeks.  What I’m saying is that I am living proof that Katy’s miracle diet doesn’t work.  But that didn’t stop the lovely Mrs. Lynch from racing right out and spending $19.95 for the book with all the details on how to wash away the weight.

After a quick perusing of the book, I learned the real secret to the diet’s success; it does claim that you do not have to do any exercising, and it does say that you can eat as much as you want, provided, however, that all you want to eat is celery.  Now call me crazy, but that’s kind of a big omission on Katy’s part.  However, given the fact that Katy’s known to have at least one hair-brained idea every week, this should surprise no one.

Let me assure you, that diet could work, but who wants to eat celery for God’s sake? So, being the noble man that I am, I have decided to offer up my services to any person who would like to lose weight over the next 60 days. We’re going to call it the Martin V Diet, and it’s only for people who are serious about losing weight.

Here is how this simple diet works, I am going to bring a scale to bocce on Saturday and you will weigh in for me. I will record that weight, and then each Saturday for the next 8 weeks you will again weigh in for me.  Sounds like Weight Watchers right? I’m not trying to reinvent the wheel; I’m just trying to get the wheel to spin faster for you.  Here is the difference.   I will post the weekly results of your success or failure on this blog.  Should there be failure on your part, I will attempt to give the reader a logical reason for your struggles.  And by logical I mean whatever comes into my head at that time.

The last thing in the world that I would want is for people to feel left out of this incredibly easy way to lose weight. So, for those of you not in the bocce league, please know that you are also welcome to swing by my house to weigh in on Saturdays.

Now, all of you folks who are going to sign up, and I expect there will be several, I want you to know that I am rooting for you.  The last thing in the world I want to do is point out any shortcomings on your part.  Please know that I don’t want to explain to people that your ideal dinner of Lean Cuisine is really a Lean Cuisine, a LaRich’s meat lover’s pizza, and six cupcakes….but, for your own good, I’m willing to do it.

Together we can get you that look you’ve been looking for, and best of all, it’s free to join!

Katy Profeta after 60 days on the Martin V Diet

Katy Profeta after 60 days of NOT being on the Martin V Diet

Can't weight to see you!
Marty Lynch
The Court Marshal