Bowling Recap from 12-6-09

Let’s go over a couple of highlights from the most recent night of bowling. Many of you wisely took advantage of the opportunity to buy The King Pin a beer last week, and as it turned out every team that told the waitress “yes I’d love to buy The King Pin a beer’” ended up winning a $10 bar certificate. Now there was a team headed by Linda Carney and PJ Buynack that asked the waitress to tell me to “pound salt.” I’m not exactly certain what that means, but I do know that it doesn’t mean yes, get the man a beer. Oddly enough, they were the only participants who did not get a gift certificate. A coincidence perhaps, but more likely, perhaps not.

If Linda and PJ were just a little more charitable
those beers wouldn’t have cost them a penny

I’d like to recognize Audrey Cercelle for adhering to the Dee Dee Bondra Rule, even before she knew it was a rule. Audrey was the only one on her team able to make it, so did she call me at the last minute asking me to bail her out? No, she wisely found three of her bimbo friends and brought them with her. That people, is how you handle shit like that. Speaking of these bimbo’s, Mark Byrne asked me if these girls were the replacements for the “Strippers.” The answer is a resounding no; I intend to step things up and replace the Strippers with a group that will be referred to as the Hooker’s. Stay tuned for that one. By the way, out of respect for Mark’s courage to seek public office, we will no longer refer to him as the “the dog trainer,” so going forward he shall bear the title of what seemingly cost him the election, “the sheep herder.”

Abigail Sirselle (left) and her bimbo friends
Marie Curtis, Cheryl Delisio, and Ann Cappello
and no, these are not replacements for the Stripper’s

Let’s talk Sausage. Sherry Tighe came very close to swinging the meat this week, and had she just been at her average in the third game I’d be strapping the sausage on her right now. But since she didn’t, Maddie Klingman gets to keep the beef for a while. Maddie crushed her average by 19 pins per game and therefore, gets to keep using the urinal in the men’s room. If she does it again, I’m going to get her a My Bowling League jock strap, a 16 pounder of course.

Maddie Klingman (center) continues to be head and

shoulders above the rest of the ladies in the league

I believe that brings us to the Lady Bug List; yet I’m really not sure how to approach this. In the past I’ve listed people in order by how badly their wife beat them. This time I’m going to use total pins so that we all know just how poorly you fella’s did. The manliest of our Lady Bugs is, surprisingly, Patrick Getty, followed by repeat performer’s TJ Sell and Jim Klingman. That leads us to the Lady Bug with this week’s biggest vajayjay, Dave Miller, who spent all night mustering up a scrotumless 290 pins. Now Dave Miller is a pretty common name, so I have placed his actual league photo below, just so that you don’t confuse him with some other Dave Miller you might know.

Dave Miller of “The Eliminators”

shown from the waist up because

he’s got nothing from the waist down

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Now I’ve never done this before and I don’t like doing this now, but it just makes sense to reuse this photo.

Maddie Klingman (center) and this week’s collection of Lady Bugs

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Fondly,

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Marty Lynch

The King Pin

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