A Week in Review

ROCK N ROLL

My wife had VIP tickets to The Rock n Roll Hall of Fame Fundraiser this past Saturday night. Knowing that I didn’t have any rock and roll clothes to wear, I convinced PJ Buynack to take Sue to the event. His one job was to make sure that Sue didn’t do anything to embarrass me; and it’s now clear, he didn’t do a good job of that. In fact, I’m pretty sure that the lovely Mrs. Lynch is well on her way to becoming a crack whore.

I leave her out of my sight for 4 hours and the next thing I know I’m getting text photos from people I know who are also at the event. The most disturbing of which shows Sue on the dance floor with MC Hammer backing her trunk into the dude’s junk. Anyone who knows my wife knows two things; she’s not real friendly, and she hates touching people or being touched by people. So while I don’t have the stomach to show you the dirty dancing photo’s of Suzanne being treated like one of Seattle Slews’ stud filly’s, I can show you the least painful picture I received. Am I mistaken or does Sue appear to be both friendly and touchy feely with her new rapper pal.

MC was figuring it was hammer time when the “former” lovely Mrs. Lynch trotted by.


PJ Buynack already had the perfect Rock n Roll outfit; and thank goodness, he found the perfect rug.


Ron Szuch also made an appearance at the Rock Hall Fundraiser.


My Bowling League Heads to Florida


Sooner or later it was bound to happen; My Bowling League has branched out to the Sunshine state for a little fresh material. With My Bowling Leagues in Naples and Daytona Beach, there should be ample opportunity for current Cleveland members to pick up a road game when they’re vacationing down south.

The Naples league will not be a mentally stimulating place to be because the majority of the initial members are descendents of the Isphording clan. For those of you unaware of the Isphording family history, let me sum it up by saying that there are 4 generations and 128 family members living in a 6 block radius of one another, and not one of them has finished high school. Shit, half of them never made it to high school, and it’s a safe bet that the other half can’t spell high school. Nonetheless, this big group of carnival ride operators and Slurpy servers are a fun bunch of kind hearted dim wits.

Former Clevelander’s Tom and Dave Isphording, along with two other hairless goofy bastards, make up Florida Team 1, “The Bowling Balds”

Margie Isphording Hull (3rd from right) has plenty of relatives to sub for Florida Team 2 “Margie and the Beave Waxer’s”

I don’t anticipate that the Daytona Beach League will be full of genius’ either. After all, it is home to NASCAR and Motorcycle Week. So, even if these people had some smarts, everyone’s eardrums are shot and nobody can understand anything anybody says. Megen Boswell will be the point person if this league does actually happen, in the mean time; her only job is to sell “My Bowling League Spring Break” T-shirts to all the hapless and drunk college kids who spend the week pissing on her sidewalk. I’m hoping those revenues will fund next year’s bowling banquet, which we will talk about later.

The yet to be named Florida Team 3 is lead by, Bi-Polar Megen Boswell (left) and her very popular alter-ego Megen Boozewell (right) I believe she/they still need at least 3 more teammates.

This league may take a while to grow, but I think when word spreads of the unique talents and personalities the league has to offer, it may gain steam quickly.


I know that a lot of people leave Cleveland and move to Florida, but I don’t share that same dream because once you get past the lack of sunshine, Cleveland is way better place to live, if you can keep a few things in mind.

For those people who bitch about the gloomy, freezing winter weather up north, might I ask you the last time Hurricane Anything tore through your house and blew your refrigerator a mile down the road?

Typical activity on a bad weather day in Cleveland (left) and a typical activity on a bad weather day in Florida (right)

The squirrels and skunks are definitely a nuisance, but when was the last time you let your kids play in the backyard and had to worry that an alligator might stroll by and eat them?

Typical Florida backyard (left) and a typical Cleveland backyard (right)

Granted, Lake Erie doesn’t have miles of white sandy beaches, let alone inches of it, and yes you can get stung by bees and bitten by flies, but you have to admit, it beats the hell out of being stung by jellyfish and bitten by sharks.

Typical day on Lake Erie (left) and a typical day in the Atlantic Ocean (right)

Well, enough of my warm welcome, I'll be back with bowling news soon.

Happy Birthday to the Lovely Mrs. Lynch!

Oh, p.s. fellas....if you tell your wife she looks like a cougar, explain that you mean she could get a guy 15 years younger than her. Do not say it's because she looks 15 years older than you.

Marty Lynch
The King Pin

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