A Little This, A Little That

A LITTLE THIS

Let’s clear something up real quick, when I tell you that I’ve taken my wife off of the blog distribution list and that you’re not suppose to say a word to her about anything in the blog; that means that Hope Reimer should keep her extremely large mouth shut.

I put together a small, last minute Martin V. Invitational New Years Eve party at the home of Dick Dongo and his wife Susanna Longo. The only reason Hope even got an invite at all is because my wife said I couldn’t just invite Mike Reimer and not his wife. Anyhow, Hope tells the lovely Mrs. Lynch that she read the blog and that I was mean to Dave and Mimi Miller simply because I resolved that they should get a personality or something like that.

Listen closely people, the reason why Sue is no longer on the distribution list is clear; I don’t want to hear her bitching, nor do I want her editing my content and telling me who I have to apologize to. If I start apologizing to the Miller’s, then I have to apologize to the Brown’s, then the Bondra’s, and everybody else, and I’m not doing it.

Instead, let’s do this; I apologize to everyone for anything that has ever been said in the past and for everything that I may say in the future. We good now? Furthermore, I’m pretty sure that I have stated on more than one occasion, if you don’t want to be identified in the blog, just let me know. It can’t get any more simple than that.


The invited Reimer, (left) and his blabber mouth wife.

A LITTLE THAT

Speaking of the Mr.Dongo/Mrs. Longo gathering, let me just say that it was yet another Ole Martin V successful event. I convinced Susanna that she shouldn’t go to any trouble cooking up any of those spicy Italian dishes of hers, and instead, have the evening catered. This thankfully meant that no one’s a-hole would be on fire on January 1st. Nonetheless, it was a sweet spread, and everything was great! The only complaint that anyone had was, that come mid-night, the pervert Terry Wise tried to slip everyone’s wife the tongue and it kind of grossed the ladies out. Now, this obviously had to be a small gathering, in fact, a very small gathering because I could only invite people that Dongo hadn’t pissed off in the last year or so. At this rate, I’m gonna guess that if I don’t step in and do something this party will be even smaller next year.

So this is what The King Pin has decided to do in an attempt to reduce the fall out and “possibly” increase the size of next year’s Dongo/Longo party. On January 17, 2010, My Bowling League will be holding a Nick/Dick Longo/Dongo Trivia Night. For those of you who actually read the emails over the last couple of years, my guess is you’ll do well. Dickie Dongo himself will be passing out Freeway Lanes bar gift certificates to the lucky winners.


For some reason Terry Wise creeped the ladies out a little bit.

A LITTLE THIS

Chip Tighe did it again. I told him that my snow plow guy wouldn’t have his truck ready for another week. Which I guess is the same thing as saying, “hey Chip why don’t you steal my snow shovel so that I have to use my 6” kitchen broom to sweep the 9” of snow off my driveway?” This time Tighe made a mistake. Jamie Pilla pulled by Chip’s house in, I believe his December, though possibly his January Mercedes, just as Tighe finished clearing his drive. That asshole Chip just couldn’t contain his glee over his recent act of coveting thy neighbor’s goods, and he told Pilla everything; beginning with how he came over my house last week to drop off some of his cheap, nasty smelling, shitty home-made wine; and then how he snuck into the garage, unlocked the garage window, and put the shovel right next to it; only to come back in the dead of night to snatch it.

Now if you’ve met Jamie, you surely know that he can be an even bigger asshole than Chip; but to be fair, probably no bigger an ass than say 95% of the members of My Bowling League. Nevertheless, Pilla had one of those rare, though perfectly timed, acts of kindness, as he called his snow plow guy and sent him over to my house to clear my driveway. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to canonize Pilla, and I realize what Jamie should have done was bought me a brand new John Deere 400 horsepower sit-down riding mower with the easy lift snow plow attachment, but after all, that may have made Pilla something other than an asshole, and God forbid, jeopardize that hard earned reputation of his.


And Tighe thinks this is funny.

A LITTLE THAT

I’m looking for volunteers who want to participate in this year’s Cleveland St. Patrick’s Day Parade on March 17, 2010. My Bowling League will have marchers in this year’s parade dressed handsomely as bowling pins. The lovely Mrs. Lynch will be volunteering to make the costumes, but I haven’t told her yet……………understand? I’m sure that some of you big spenders would like to help sponsor the My Bowling League hospitality suite at some downtown hotel. By the way, my brother-in-law Henry has volunteered to be either the 7 or 10 pin because he sees them all the time; and Dawn Rossi has begged, I mean begged me to allow her to be the head pin. I’d like to assure all of the ladies that Dawn has not been given that position and that I will be holding private auditions for that coveted spot. More details to follow.


You guys are gonna look great!

A LITTLE THIS

By the way, my son Tom went back to college this weekend. He goes to a school called St. Olaf in Northfield, Minnesota. Sue and I knew it was minus 36 degrees there and we gladly put him on a plane and sent him back; then we laughed and we laughed and we laughed. We’re still trying to figure out if we laughed because he’s a thoughtless shitty kid and deserves to freeze his ass off, or if we’re thoughtless shitty parents and that’s just what thoughtless shitty parents do. Either way, I don’t care, it’s already more peaceful around here.


I'm wondering if we should call to see if he made it back.

A LITTLE THAT

One last thing, if you butt heads think that I have time on my hands, check this out. There are a couple of guys who have, what I guess you’d call, legitimate bowling blogs. They actually talk about bowling stuff, they offer pointers on how to select a bowling ball or a pair of shoes, and these dudes are writing and linking all kinds of shit every day. Now I don’t know if that is of any interest to you folks but I put the links right above Ole Martin V’s Daily Words of Wisdom. And for all you people who spend your day on Facebook playing FarmVille or Bejeweled, I have kindly given you a link to some on-line bowling games. Perhaps this will break up the monotony of Mafia Wars or Café World. As usual, here we have The King Pin once again trying to make your pathetic lives just a little more enjoyable.

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Marty Lynch

The King Pin

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