Monday, November 22, 2010

THIS AND THAT

THE END OF THE LADY BUG LIST


Well, I have decided that the Lady Bug List, along with the weekly King and Queen of the league award will now officially go into retirement. Unbeknownst to me, I just recently became aware that some people viewed these monikers as derogatory. Obviously, it was never my intention to mock, defame, or humiliate anyone, nor has anyone suggested that my goals were anything other than a positive attempt to be inclusive of all league members. Nonetheless, the decision stands.

However, to ease the pain of this sudden loss I have decided that we will now have the weekly Hairiest Balls Award presented to the lady whose performance most closely resembles that of an unkempt jihadist Afghani female. Our first recipient of the Hairiest Balls Award is none other than the lovely Mrs. Lynch. Suzanne, as she prefers to be called, had a lady high score of 155 and sports a league best 143 average. I’m proud of you honey!

The Lovely Mrs. Lynch with her game face on.

As a consolation, I would also like to recognize Sue Wise with the Fuzzy Nut Award for her 400 series. With her consistent performance, my guess is that’s Sue Wise will be in the running every week.

Sue Wise on her recent Hawaiian vacation.


THE IANIRO'S UN-JOIN MY BOWLING LEAGUE

On July 24th I graciously invited David Ianiro and his wife Traci to join My Bowling League, and they both quickly accepted. I was partnering them up with Bondra’s team figuring that would eliminate the Pin Heads tendency to no-show. Two weeks later Terry Wise tells me he ran into Ianiro and David asked him to let me know he changed his mind. He told Wise he’s really not that good a bowler so he doesn’t want to join after all. He’s not so good so he shouldn’t play? He’s not so good, like that matters.

Could there be a bigger dick head than this guy? Probably not; here’s this lousy spaghetti vendor who has been in charge of Highland Heights youth baseball for 20 years, and I’m wondering what he’s been saying to our kids for all these years. “Yo little Johnny, I know you love baseball, but let’s face it, you suck, you’re bringing the team down, you got no business being out here with all your friends, now run along, I shouldn’t have to waste my time teaching the fundamentals to a useless chump like you.”
Ianiro, gingerly telling a 6 year old he don’t belongs on da field.

When I confront him on this he comes up with a completely different excuse. Apparently he has this tremendous opportunity to open up another catering business in downtown Cleveland, and he’ll be too damn busy making money to bowl.

Ianiro, at his busy downtown catering business.